Ugh.

The depression from the events of the trial has played hell on my house.

So, today I have showered and put my shoes on.

I will try to get all the trash out.

I will try to get the laundry done.

15 minutes at a time.

Dear Self:

You've done really really well this week! The house has been clean and maintaining itself all week. You've done a great job of putting food away and washing dishes after every meal. It really helps make the next meal easier to prepare. The new system in the refrigerator is working well, too, because you're eating everything you bought. You haven't thrown away any food this week so far. It helps to have a clean fridge!

When HD sprayed the stuff in his eyes, you were able to lay him on the counter and wash his eyes out because it was all clean and the sink was empty. That system worked great and showed you how important it is to have a clean counter.

This week you organized his art area so that he can find his materials, and what do ya know, he has drawn more pictures and done more creative things this week than he has done in the last month.

Don't forget about that morning that you made your bed without thinking about it--you actually went back to the bedroom to make it and found that you had already done it. This means your routine is becoming a habit! That's great!

I'm proud of all your hard work and I want you to keep it up.

This week the main project will be organizing the office so that you can focus on business matters and not be held hostage by the clutter. You can do this, 15 minutes at a time. Also this week I want you to work on doing all the steps of laundry--don't leave clean laundry in the basket! If you do one load all the way through every day, it will be easy and you'll never find yourself cussing because what you want to wear is dirty or wrinkly.

Also this week I want you to work on maintaining a better attitude. I think that for the first ten minutes of Sprout's naps, you should meditate. No matter what else you have or want to do, use that first ten minutes for meditation and I think you'll be much happier and calmer for it.

Lastly, good job on saying nice things to yourself. It's easy to focus on the imperfection, but you are steadily moving forward and I'm proud of you.

Now, say it the right way:

I'm proud of myself. I have worked hard and my home is getting better and my family is experiencing the rewards.

Good job. ;)

Motivated

Sometimes it's hard to be motivated to do anything beyond survival. But it becomes an ugly cycle--being depressed, letting the mess creep up, feeling suffocated, then sorry for myself, which takes us right back to depressed.

Somewhere the cycle has to budge. And some days, I do really good at that. Yesterday was one of those. My life isn't that much different today or yesterday from the day before. Nothing much has happened, except that my kitchen was clean when I got up this morning, my refrigerator stocked and my living room presentable.

And for some damn reason, that helps, and the cloud lifts a little bit, and I know that there's going to be an end to the current madness.

The Big Question

What stops me from doing the things that I know are good for myself, that introduce order and peace to my life, that allow me to lay down in bed at night with a deep sense of satisfaction about my day?

Where to Start

A few of you have talked about wanting to start doing better in your homes. It's important to do so without guilt and while letting go of the idea of perfection!

Start with the Flylady at "Flying Lessons." I encourage you to follow her process for the whole thing, because she does have a wonderful system and she understands our dilemmas SO very well. I'll write more about that later.

Anyway, there are two phrases that have stuck in my head that help me do better in my home.

The FlyLady says, "Even housework done incorrectly still blesses your home." This is true!

And my favorite FlyGirl says this to me when I get whiny about the things I should do, "You'll feel better if you do." She's right! Doing these things isn't about being a responsible adult who does all their boring chores. It's about feeling better because you live in a less stressful environment, because by sticking to our routines we cut down on our overall work, because it just feels really damn good to crawl into a well made bed with clean sheets.

Now I have routines to do! I'm going to make my bed first today, but instead of hopping immediatly into the shower I'm going to put on workout clothes, pop the baby in the backpack and go for a walk.

First I need to pay rent (on time!), then I will pick up my wedding ring from the jeweler's, and I might just swing by the post office and drop a few notes in the mail.

Everyone have an excellent day, and do yourself a favor and sign up for the FlyLady! There are FlyGuys, too, so my bachelor buddies shouldn't be turned off by the ... purple ... of the whole thing.

Slow Start Today

Today has had a slow start. I have managed to make my bed, shower and feed the Sprout and me. I am lacking motivation to do anything else...

So, here's where the 10 minute timer works best for me. I really need to clean up the kitchen. I also need to do a load of laundry.

I'll get the laundry started and then spend 10 minutes in the kitchen. After that it's play time with the girlie, and hopefully soon I can take a nap because I didn't sleep very well last night.

According to my weekly plan, Wednesday is Plan Menus day, as well as polishing mirrors and writing notes and cards to mail tomorrow.

We'll see if any of that is done. For now I'll be satisfied with a clean kitchen and a load of laundry.

And a nap....

Progress

Ten minutes at a time, with long breaks in between for feeding, playing and sleeping. I'm feeling better already:

I did everything on the plan from earlier, plus a few things. Tomorrow I spend time in the kitchen, but we'll leave tomorrow to worry about itself.

Have a lovely evening!

Wow!

I was completely finished with my morning routine at 8:45 this morning. Thank you, Pack n' Play and Elmo in Grouchland. I even took my vitamin, AND some ginseng!

So... what needs to be done today?

It's Tuesday, and according to my weekly plan, that means I need to hit the Laundry Room and sweep the whole house. Not too bad. I'll do those things first, and if I have time to do other things I will. I'm going to include "put away all the clean laundry" in this set.

Today I would also like to visit some friends and complete a website project I have for someone. I also need to contact a friend about doing some computer work for her coffee shop.

Ten minutes at a time, baby.

I can do anything for ten minutes, so long as a midget isn't holding onto my legs and screaming at me!

Ugh

Yesterday I didn't get ten consecutive minutes to spend on any one task. Sprout crawled after me, whining and screaming because I wouldn't let her pinch me all day. She's gotten into a thing that if I'm standing or walking within her field of view she gets angry. Barry Brazleton's "Touchpoints" says this is normal, that she's upset that she can't be the one walking away yet. Normal or not, it's quite annoying and detrimental to my drive to accomplish anything.

Today is a new day! We try again.

I'll be making links for my routines, but for now, this is what I hope to do this morning:

Make my bed.
Shower.
Get dressed to the laceup shoes.
Throw in a load of laundry.
Make breakfast for the Sprout and me.

If all that comes together, I'll come back and post other plans for the day.

Babysteps.

That's how we gots to do it.

The Beginning:

Living Room

Note the dirty diaper on the floor alongside some spilled Cheerio's.

Dining Area
Leftover dinner dishes and lots of baby food dropped on the floor.

Kitchen

Sprout's and my Bedroom

Heavy Duty's Bedroom

The Office

I sleep here because Soldier Boy and I leave our webcams on at night.

Guest/Kids' Bathroom

My Bathroom

Breezeway/Laundry Room

Garage

The Welcome Mat

Keeping my house in order is a constant struggle. Over the last year or so I have discovered The FlyLady, who has helped tremendously, but I've fallen out of my routines and will be working on getting everything back in order. I'm going to be following her basic guidelines, and posting the journey here. With lots of pictures.

My house will be naked for you and I am not going to be making excuses. Things are the way they are, and I'm going to be babystepping my way into making them better. I will be posting lots of pictures.

Since my friend died, I have lacked focus to complete most tasks, no matter how small. So using the FlyLady's suggestion of a timer, I will be attacking things ten minutes at a time. Usually it's fifteen, but I seriously can't pay attention to anything that long.

You'd be amazed what you can do in ten minutes, though.

So, welcome to my journey.

I can't believe I'm about to post pictures of this wreck. :)