Dear Self:

You've done really really well this week! The house has been clean and maintaining itself all week. You've done a great job of putting food away and washing dishes after every meal. It really helps make the next meal easier to prepare. The new system in the refrigerator is working well, too, because you're eating everything you bought. You haven't thrown away any food this week so far. It helps to have a clean fridge!

When HD sprayed the stuff in his eyes, you were able to lay him on the counter and wash his eyes out because it was all clean and the sink was empty. That system worked great and showed you how important it is to have a clean counter.

This week you organized his art area so that he can find his materials, and what do ya know, he has drawn more pictures and done more creative things this week than he has done in the last month.

Don't forget about that morning that you made your bed without thinking about it--you actually went back to the bedroom to make it and found that you had already done it. This means your routine is becoming a habit! That's great!

I'm proud of all your hard work and I want you to keep it up.

This week the main project will be organizing the office so that you can focus on business matters and not be held hostage by the clutter. You can do this, 15 minutes at a time. Also this week I want you to work on doing all the steps of laundry--don't leave clean laundry in the basket! If you do one load all the way through every day, it will be easy and you'll never find yourself cussing because what you want to wear is dirty or wrinkly.

Also this week I want you to work on maintaining a better attitude. I think that for the first ten minutes of Sprout's naps, you should meditate. No matter what else you have or want to do, use that first ten minutes for meditation and I think you'll be much happier and calmer for it.

Lastly, good job on saying nice things to yourself. It's easy to focus on the imperfection, but you are steadily moving forward and I'm proud of you.

Now, say it the right way:

I'm proud of myself. I have worked hard and my home is getting better and my family is experiencing the rewards.

Good job. ;)

Motivated

Sometimes it's hard to be motivated to do anything beyond survival. But it becomes an ugly cycle--being depressed, letting the mess creep up, feeling suffocated, then sorry for myself, which takes us right back to depressed.

Somewhere the cycle has to budge. And some days, I do really good at that. Yesterday was one of those. My life isn't that much different today or yesterday from the day before. Nothing much has happened, except that my kitchen was clean when I got up this morning, my refrigerator stocked and my living room presentable.

And for some damn reason, that helps, and the cloud lifts a little bit, and I know that there's going to be an end to the current madness.

The Big Question

What stops me from doing the things that I know are good for myself, that introduce order and peace to my life, that allow me to lay down in bed at night with a deep sense of satisfaction about my day?

Where to Start

A few of you have talked about wanting to start doing better in your homes. It's important to do so without guilt and while letting go of the idea of perfection!

Start with the Flylady at "Flying Lessons." I encourage you to follow her process for the whole thing, because she does have a wonderful system and she understands our dilemmas SO very well. I'll write more about that later.

Anyway, there are two phrases that have stuck in my head that help me do better in my home.

The FlyLady says, "Even housework done incorrectly still blesses your home." This is true!

And my favorite FlyGirl says this to me when I get whiny about the things I should do, "You'll feel better if you do." She's right! Doing these things isn't about being a responsible adult who does all their boring chores. It's about feeling better because you live in a less stressful environment, because by sticking to our routines we cut down on our overall work, because it just feels really damn good to crawl into a well made bed with clean sheets.

Now I have routines to do! I'm going to make my bed first today, but instead of hopping immediatly into the shower I'm going to put on workout clothes, pop the baby in the backpack and go for a walk.

First I need to pay rent (on time!), then I will pick up my wedding ring from the jeweler's, and I might just swing by the post office and drop a few notes in the mail.

Everyone have an excellent day, and do yourself a favor and sign up for the FlyLady! There are FlyGuys, too, so my bachelor buddies shouldn't be turned off by the ... purple ... of the whole thing.